Dates, Drama and Drag

One of my dear friends has a habit of posting witty Craigslist personal ads for kicks. Por ejemplo, one of her recent posts said she wanted an asthmatic boyfriend in order to help her quit smoking. Her latest ad, entitled "I'll Even Let You Wear My Clothes," specified that she was looking for a drag queen boyfriend, which kind of fits since she enjoys androgyne. On Sunday, she declared her love for a particular drag queen after a visit to Bump 'n Grind, the Denver brunch locale where all the servers dress in drag. Really. I couldn't make this up.

So anyway, she posted the ad, not really expecting a legitimate response. Lo and behold, a guy e-mails her. He happens to include pictures. She happens to recognize him.

He happens to be someone I went on a few dates with over a year ago.

What does this say about my love life? Just to clarify--I don't think my current fellow Karl has the same tendencies.

Furthermore, after I decided this wasn't the guy for me (good call), I tried to set this same friend and this same guy up on a date. I thought they'd be perfect for each other.

Was I right? Or was I oh-so-wrong?

Renewed Faith in the State of Humanity

Since I've been a little bitter blogger the past week, I thought I'd post something a tad more uplifting. Last weekend, I volunteered (thanks to the lovely Colleen) at the Entertainment Project, a Denver-based non-profit that promotes literacy to kids through real-world projects and assignments in arts and entertainment.

The organization has tons of great programs, but I volunteered with the Whose Magazine portion. The magazine is a youth-produced publication, comprised of their stories, interviews, photography, reviews and poetry. As volunteers, we edited the kids' pieces. Hello?!? Could any volunteer opportunity be more up my alley? I think not.

Anyway, the magazine contains 200 pages of absolutely amazing work. You will not believe what a 8 year-old can do when given the chance. So, I'm urging, begging, pleading everyone to check out their website, their magazine and this program.

Go RIGHT NOW to http://www.whosemagazine.org/index.html

You can get more information, order the publication online, and buy greeting cards made out of the kids' photography.

I am not a damsel in distress thankyouverymuch

The following is a comment I made on my friend's blog, after she asked for our thoughts on John Eldredge's book Wild at Heart...

Ugh. I know Wild at Heart is a very polarizing book. You either love it or you hate it. I happen to be in the latter category. I think it's more pop psychology than actual theology. While Eldredge makes makes some good points, his premise distrurbs me. Men and women are definitely different, but each gender covers a broad spectrum of personalities and needs. He talks as if all men need to be macho, masculine surburbanites in search of their next wilderness adventure. He also says that all men need three things: a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.

Seriously? I am a woman, but I do not want to be a beauty that is rescued by a man, thankyouverymuch. If I need to be rescued, it will be by my Creator, not by my partner.

It's that kind of "damsel in distress" mentality that leads women to do the kinds of things that "astound" Eldredge. Case in point:

"I am astounded what young women will offer when they are famished for the love and affirmation they have never had from their fathers. They will throw themselves at a man to get a taste of being wanted, desired." -Eldredge

Maybe if we let G-d heal those wounds, we wouldn't be throwing ourselves at men, hoping to be "rescued" from our needs. Yet, Eldredge tells men that they need a beauty to rescue. I really don't see the coherent argument.

Maybe I am just doomed to disagree with Eldredge. Other questionable passages include telling his son to hit the bully on the playground, and inferring that women would rather be beautiful than hardworking. Maybe women are conditioned to want to be beautiful, but scripture (i.e. Proverbs 31) instructs women to value work over beauty. Furthermore, all this follow your heart crap bothers me. Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things..."

I could go on and on, just as I could go on and on about Focus on the Family (where Eldredge got his start). I'll close with this last thought:

Eldredge said, "Contrary to what you may have been led to believe, the Incarnation of grace, meekness, and love is not Mister Rogers with a beard! He is more like Maximus in the movie Gladiator or William Wallace in Braveheart."

Eldredge's hypermasculine version of Jesus just doesn't completely mesh. I always understood that the prevailing culture of Jesus's time thought that the Messiah would come as some great warrior, waving a sword and bringing salvation through battle. Perhaps that's why many failed to see Jesus for who he really was. And when they beat him senseless, he didn't hit back.

Who is this Guy?

Meet Wayne Grudem. He's a theologian and teacher. He doesn't think women should be ordained, or lead men in the church. Of course, he says they can be missionaries, which, apparently never involves instructing men.

He also says that if women become preachers, God will withdraw blessings from them. He uses the example of a female pastor in Virginia who is now in jail. That's right. There's a direct cause and effect between her being a pastor and her attempting murder.

What a piece of crap. Sorry. That's probably not nice. Read the article entitled "Women Pastors: Not the Path to Blessing" below, as well as Grudem's checklists on what men and women are allowed to do. Actually, it reads more like men are allowed to do anything; women can only do a few things...

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/202/story_20219_1.html

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/203/story_20340_1.html

And then please read these opposing thoughts by Tony Campolo and J. Lee Grady because, well, they don't suck like the aforementioned diatribes.

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/201/story_20177_1.html

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/63/story_6359_1.html

Even though I've been thoroughly frustrated with my denomination's formal ordination process, I should make note that they at least think my gender is worthy of such a process. And maybe lately, I'm just all hyped up on the issue of gender anyway. My small group is discussing gender, and last week, I got all angry over the book Wild at Heart, which so many seem to love. Actually, that started with a post to my friend's blog when she asked for our thoughts about the book. I'll go ahead and repost it above.

Good Things

Aww, my title is oh-so-very Martha Stewart--even if my house is not. (Case in point: the every-growing pile of laundry.) Anyway, today's good things from Tiff:

1. Dover Thrift Editions
How else can you get a new copy of The Dubliners for $2? These cheap, little editions of classic books are available online and at the Tattered Cover, the amazing bookstore that's just a short walk from my house. Oh so bad and yet oh so good.

2. CD opening technique
This is an elusive dream for many. The perfect way to open those pesky plastic-wrapped and stickered new CDs was brought to me courtesy of Ms. Leila, who I spent a summer with at Paste magazine. She's now married to its illustrious publisher, btw. Compact discs that are wrapped in plastic should be dragged across a hard surface, just along their skinny, ridged bottom edge. This will rip the plastic enough, taking you to the next annoying layer. Then, gently pop off the entire cover, which will pull the sticker off. Remove any excess. Then, pop the cover back on (make sure you don't break any plastic parts.) And voila...you have an open CD in less time than it takes to destroy a manicure. Once technique is perfected, you'll be opening CDs like a machine. Now only if I had the money to buy that many CDs...

3. Lindt Lindor Chocolates
Make you go mmmmm...Could melt in your mouth and your hand. There's something about a gooey-centered chocolate ball that is perfection.

4. Converse Chuck Taylors
I mean, really, there is no explanation needed here. Due to Denver's ever-increasing amount of snow, I have been loathe to wear any dress shoes at all, and boots are getting old. So today, I wore my Chuck Taylors to work, along with my dress pants and button up shirt/sweater combo. See...they are genius with anything!

This brings me to my next point, which involves bad things, very bad things, mostly involving...

1. Snow
Pretty...at first. Then, it becomes rock-hard black ice, mixed with gray sludge. Add that to the rust-inducing road chemicals that are destroying all my shoes and the beautiful silver paint on my car, and this does not come close to goodness. The alley where my parking spot exists has become my daily obstacle course. I have learned not to scream every time I fishtail. The road ruts and potholes are messing up my just-aligned vehicle. Plus, it has snowed every, single Friday (my day off that I generally use to run errands) since the storm before Christmas. This Friday, however, it is not supposed to snow. It's just going to wait until Monday.

Arghh...what happened to the normal Colorado weather?

The National Championship: A Few More Obnoxious Thoughts on Why I Heart the SEC

"The SEC champion Gators were joined in the Top 25 by five other league rivals. No other conference finished with more in the top 25." --ESPN.com

AP ranked Georgia number #23, and I'll gladly take that honor, given the rough season we had.

So should we be surprised that Florida dominated Ohio State?

"On the field after the game Monday night, Florida junior defensive end Jarvis Moss suggested an explanation. 'We played a lot better teams than Ohio State this year,' Moss said, a piece of blue confetti sweat-stuck to his neck. 'I can name four or five teams in the SEC that would compete real well against them.'" --quote from article by Ivan Maisel, ESPN.com

And here is, perhaps, my favorite explanation, given courtesy of Gene Wojciechowski of ESPN.com, in a "memo" to Jim Walden, former Washington State head coach, on ESPN.com (Walden was one of the loners who predicted the Gators would win.)

"As you watched the 41-14 blowout, you said that no team in the country 'had played more great teams, more often, with more consistency and with more intensity than Florida.' You said there was no comparison between Florida's SEC schedule and Ohio State's Big Ten opponents.
'Ohio State and Michigan were the two best teams in a really bad league. Florida was the best team in a really good league.' "

See there? I am genuinely excited for the Gators, if only for selfish purposes. Their big win makes all Georgia's losses to them a little less painful. Well, ok, maybe it doesn't. But it does make our conference and us look better. So there.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow---NOOOOOOO

It's snowing. I am sick of it snowing. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt--namely me slip and sliding down the sidewalk. It might look all pretty and fluffy until it turns to brown, icy sludge. And no one thinks that's pretty.

This is the third snow in as many weeks. What is this? Did Colorado just trick me into believing they had beautiful weather during my first year here? I've heard the natives complain, so at least I'm not the only one. The snow needs to stay in the mountains where it belongs. I can't ski down my driveway. Heck--I can't even drive down my driveway.

This time, it's at least a light snow. Too bad it's just covering up the solid layer of ice that has devloped beneath it. I'm beginning to feel trapped in my own apartment due to my overwhelming fear of driving in this weather. South Carolinians did it right--we hibernate for a week when it snows three inches.

So Long 2006--It was a very good year

I'll Be Home for Christmas (If Only in My Dreams)

Ok, so I did actually make it home for Christmas, but just barely. Thanks to the ill-timed Blizzard of '06, my first flight was canceled. Although I was thankful to not be one of the refugees stranded in Denver International Airport, I sulked around my apartment for a good 48 hours. I was one of the lucky few, however, who managed to get a rebooked flight out Friday before Christmas. Too bad the flight was out of Colorado Springs--a good hour away and across an interstate that was closed due to the storm. Still, together with the driver of the car we rented and CDOT clearing the highways, I made it to the Springs.

It's trite, but thinking that I would be spending the holidays alone made me even more thankful to be home and spending the holidays with my family--most of whom I hadn't seen in a year. And of course, we all know how stressful family time can be, but mostly, I have no complaints. And, I know this year, I won't wait so long to go home.

P.S. Humidity is a strange thing. Besides making my skin feel better, when I stepped off the plane in Charlotte, the air just smelled better. Oh, and getting to eat Waffle House wasn't too shabby either.

Above are a few pics of the reason I almost didn't make it home for Christmas...I especially like the ones of Emily and I with the biggest snowman ever. I also have to give a special thanks to Emily, my always-fun Colfax cohort. She kept me sane during the storm, and took my mind off a lonely Christmas. Here's to bad Greek food, limoncello, and 7-11 snack stops!