Girl on a Mission

Blog On

2007-08-28T01:26:00.000-06:00

Check out the new blog at www.tiffanystanley.blogspot.com.

Saying Goodbye

2007-08-21T16:32:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was my last day at Warren Village. This girl on a mission will soon have a new mission. It has been a wonderfully exhausting, indescribably fulfilling two years. I know Beth, our new US-2, will carry on the work of the Village in a beautiful way. The hands that serve may change, but the serving remains.

I have been inspired by my residents, alums and co-workers. The Village people (ha, ha) have spoiled me the last two weeks with cakes and presents and go-away festivities. Still, it occurs to me that I can't just go away. No one ever really leaves Warren Village. It's a family. As a resident recently wrote, "It takes a village not only to raise a child...but to raise a person."

To close, I wanted to offer up the Prayer of Oscar Romero, written by Bishop Untener. I think it says what I want to say way better than I could say it:

It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view.

The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts,
it is even beyond our vision.

We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction
of the magnificent enterprise that is God's work.
Nothing we do is complete, which is a way of saying
that the kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection.
No pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the church's mission.
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.

This is what we are about.
We plant the seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted,
knowing that they hold future promise.

We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities.

We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation
in realizing that. This enables us to do something,
and to do it very well. It may be incomplete,
but it is a beginning, a step along the way,
an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results, but that is the difference
between the master builder and the worker.

We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.

Amen.

Thank You to the Bon Voyage/Birthday Bash Attendees

2007-08-21T16:22:00.001-06:00

Thanks to everyone who came out to celebrate with Jonny B and I before we take off and leave the Mile-High City. No street does a bar crawl justice like Colfax Avenue. Jonny B--good luck in the U.K.!!!!

Thank You to My Girls

2007-08-21T16:15:00.000-06:00

Emily, Jenn, and Anne Cary--my birthday week has been fantastic, but they made my 24th one of the best ever. Dinner at Panzano and drinks at Peaks Lounge. I cannot believe I can't take these ladies to Massachusetts with me. Really, truly, words will NEVER express how much I love you three.

Thank You to Dorothy

2007-08-21T16:10:00.000-06:00

One of my wonderful Warren Village volunteers gave me the best going-away gift ever. Her husband attended Harvard and he passed away just three years ago. Watching my mom, I know how hard it is to give away someone's possessions after they die. The material things take on a whole new meaning. Dorothy has made me eternally grateful by giving me her husband's jacket--bought in 1955. I will treasure it forever.

Thank You to Brian

2007-08-21T16:05:00.000-06:00

Thanks to Brian for taking me to see the Little Mermaid's Pre-Broadway show for my birthday. Every little girl born in 1983 loves some Ariel and Sebastian. I think Tina took me to see it at least five times in the theater. Brian--it has been my pleasure to get to know you. I don't know many 6'3" Georgia boys who knit and make gazpacho. Geez, my timing sucks.

Thank You to the Gathering

2007-08-21T15:54:00.000-06:00

I have been very blessed to have been a part of a small group at Pathways for the last two years. The Gathering was a huge part of making Denver my home, not just a stopping place. It is where I found other believers. It is where I found friends--male and female. It is where I found Marc. And Stephen. :) It is also where I found a Denver family, one to laugh with and cry with, fight with and love. On August 15, the Gathering hosted a going-away Agape meal for my last Wednesday. I was so surprised at the big turn-out: oldtimers and newcomers, familiar faces and ones I haven't seen in way too long. They also surprised me with gas money--totally unexpected, but totally needed. I have loved being a part of this group, and I will miss it way too much in Boston.

Tiff's Colorado Trivia

2007-08-20T12:54:00.000-06:00

People should know these things got started in Colorado:

Chipotle

The Fray

Crocs (Ugliest shoes ever)

Plus, Colorado inspires music, like John Denver's "Rocky Mountain High," and the song "America the Beautiful," which was written on a trip past Pikes Peak.

Plus, Don Cheadle went to East High School, located right in my neighborhood

New Favorite Verses...at least for the next 20 minutes

2007-08-08T14:12:00.000-06:00

Isaiah 42:16 (NIV)
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them.

Psalm 119:32 (NIV)
I run in the path of your commands,
for you have set my heart free.

August!?!?!?!?

2007-08-02T13:14:00.001-06:00

Why is August already and how did this happen?

In 15 days, I will be 24 years old.

In 18 days, I will no longer work at Warren Village.

In 25 days, I will no longer live in Denver.

In words from the sage writers of Grey's Anatomy and into the mouth of Meredith Grey:

"We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?"

Harvard T-Shirt Goes to Mt. Harvard

2007-07-31T15:16:00.000-06:00

(I signed the register as a South Carolinian. I felt we were a little under-represented.)

Two weeks ago, I climbed one of Colorado's 54 fourteeners, Mt. Harvard (14,420 ft). It's the third highest mountain in the state and the fourth highest in the contiguous United States.

It's not the prettiest mountain or even the hardest of climbs, explained below in a quote from The Harvard Crimson:

"[...]despite its height, climbing up Mt. Harvard is hardly a death-defying experience. 'It's an undistinguished lump on a fairly undistinguished range; it just happens to be very high,' says John C. Reed of the U.S. Geological Survey in Denver. Reed, who has climbed the mountain once, describes it only as 'a long walk' of about three or four miles. Nor is the view from the mountain especially scenic, compared with Colorado's other 54 mountains above 14,000 feet. 'In terms of being spectacular, Mt. Harvard would not be really high on the list,' Reed says."

Regardless, Stephen and I had a great time backpacking and camping and hiking. Besides, who can resist a cheesy photo of a Harvard t-shirt at the top of Mt. Harvard (even if you immediately put on eight layers of clothes afterwards because it's freezing up there)?

Views

2007-07-31T15:10:00.000-06:00

We are goofs

2007-07-31T15:02:00.000-06:00

Sunscreen in my eye is no fun.

Chillicothe UMC

2007-07-30T13:56:00.000-06:00

During the summer, Warren Village becomes overrun with youth groups on their annual mission trips. As much hard work as it is to supervise people doing manual labor, the experiences always remind me of what's important. Sometimes living in a city and doing the work we do, I can lose track of where I come from and why I started doing this in the first place. A vital part of who I am comes from spending part of my high school summers fixing up houses in low-income areas with a South Carolina program called Salkehatchie.

This past week, we were blessed (and I really mean that) to have a group of 50 teenagers come help us out from Chillicothe, Missouri. From the way they talk about their town, I was reminded a lot of Red Bank and Lexington. The kids and leaders worked extremely hard and got so much done for us. It's awesome to be accepted and to become an honorary member of their mission team, and to be reminded of what it really means to do mission in community. In the midst of overwhelming change and further pursuit of ministry, I feel revitalized.

So thanks to Chillicothe United Methodist Church, Greg and Jenny Hughes, the other leaders and the whole youth group!!!

The Beginning of an Ending

2007-07-24T14:30:00.001-06:00

Yesterday marked my first sleepless night over the upcoming move. I hit the pillow and my mind starting making mental to-do lists in overdrive. The girls in my accountability group threw me a little impromptu going-away surprise last night, since it was the last Monday we could all be together before I leave. I'm horrible at goodbyes and prefer to live in complete denial of change until it smacks me in the face. I guess the gesture of a "going away" celebration did smack me around a little. I'm calmer this morning, but a little paralyzed with all there is to do.

Today, my class of US-2s made the GBGM front page. It's a little article I wrote up regarding our end term and next steps. The link is here:http://gbgm-umc.org/global_news/full_article.cfm?articleid=4615

And just as good things are coming to an end, other good things are commencing. Here's the article about the new class of US-2s (two of which are coming to Denver!): http://gbgm-umc.org/global_news/pr.cfm?articleid=4613

August 20 is my last official day at Warren Village. Scary.

Mara and Neums ENGAGED!

2007-07-10T17:32:00.000-06:00

Mara (part of my BFF Georgia Girls) just called me via a very fuzzy transcontinental cell phone connection. We kept getting cut off, but we stayed connected long enough for her to announce that she and Neumann are engaged! Mara's traveling through Europe for the summer with her graduate program in architecture at Georgia Tech. I haven't gotten all the details yet, but suffice it to say, Neums flew to Europe and proposed somewhere in Sweden (I think). The two of them definitely belong together. They were best friends for years before they ever dated. Finally, they both realized they should be together. I'll never forget when Mara told me she was in love with Neums for the first time...I almost drove my car off the road en route to the USC v. UGA game. Anyway, I couldn't be more excited. Geez...another best friend bites the dust, I mean...um, gets engaged. :) I'm just going to drink a lot at all their receptions...oh, wait, missionaries aren't supposed to say things like that.

Carter Can!

2007-07-10T13:33:00.000-06:00

Warren Village is being featured on the HGTV show "Carter Can." They're redoing our Big Kids room. It's amazing what a TV crew and a bunch of hot carpenters can do to the chaos level of the Village. Madness, I tell you. Madness everywhere!

Relevant

2007-06-28T12:44:00.000-06:00

My friend Jimmy, who I met at the FTE conference, recently posted this quote on his blog (check it out at http://jimmymccarty.wordpress.com/). Jimmy commented that the words of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., are as prophetic today as they were in 1967 when he spoke this message at Riverside Church in NYC:

"It is with such activity in mind that the words of the late John F. Kennedy come back to haunt us. Five years ago he said, “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” Increasingly, by choice or by accident, this is the role our nation has taken: the role of those who make peaceful revolution impossible by refusing to give up the privileges and the pleasures that come from the immense profits of overseas investments. I am convinced that if we are to get on the right side of the world revolution, we as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin the shift from a thing-oriented society to a person-oriented society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights, are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, extreme materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered…The Western arrogance of feeling that it has everything to teach others and nothing to learn from them is not just…A true revolution of values will lay hands on the world order and say of war: “This way of settling differences is not just.” This business of burning human beings with napalm, of filling our nation’s homes with orphans and widows, of injecting poisonous drugs of hate into the veins of peoples normally humane, of sending men home from dark and bloody battlefields physically handicapped and psychologically deranged, cannot be reconciled with wisdom, justice, and love. A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom….Every nation must now develop an overriding loyalty to mankind as a whole in order to preserve the best in their individual societies…"

"Travel - I've had my share, man/I've been everywhere"--Johnny Cash

2007-06-26T13:53:00.000-06:00

Well, I haven't been everywhere, but the past two weeks have felt like it. I just completed my three-city tour of the U.S., with stops in New York, Boston, and Chicago. The first week was my US-2 endterm in New York City, in good ole Alma Mathews house. It was a time of reflection, joy and bittersweetness, as we US-2s said goodbye to our programs and each other.

Then, I flew into Boston for a whirlwind trip to find a place to live. Mission Accomplished! After 10 meetings with potential roommmates and apartments, I think I have finally made my choice. I want to give a big thanks to Ben, my wonderful host for most of the trip--and thanks to Amy F-F for making it happen! The second half of that stay was at an Episcopal monastery, which provided much needed silent retreat, even if I didn't get to take advantage of all the "retreating" that was possible. But that's ok--I have an apartment and I didn't lose my mind. Done. And. Done.

My final destination was the FTE conference in Chicago (or actually Evanston if you want to get technical about it). The conference was great, but I have to admit that I was a little done with traveling and small talk by that point. I wasn't much of a joiner. I'm just introverted enough to have needed a little more down time. I still got a lot out of it, despite United Airlines canceling my first flight and losing my luggage. Then, they delivered my luggage way later than they promised. Surprise, surprise. Yeah, wearing the same clothes for three days...joy. I guess I'll have to figure out a way to get around that pesky 3 oz. liquid thing next time, so I can just check the bag!

All in all...good times and good people. Glad to be home...at least for two more months. :(

FTE Fellowship

2007-05-31T11:23:00.000-06:00

I just received word that the Fund for Theological Education has named me a 2007 FTE Volunteers Exploring Vocation Fellow, which will help even more with my living expenses for next year when used in conjunction with my Harvard Fellowship. Not only is this such an honor and great news, I'm also in very good company. All the recipients must be incoming M.Div. students, and we all must have served in a faith-based volunteer capacity for at least a year. More interesting than that is that all 10 recipients are female. I think it just adds to the fact that, on the whole, women now slightly outnumber men in seminaries these days. So, take that church patriarchy and the "stained glass ceiling."

Well, it's about time...

2007-05-31T11:12:00.000-06:00

Disney's next animated film will finally feature its first black princess. Just fifteen years ago, Disney released its first movie with a non-white princess in the form of Jasmine in Aladdin. Then came Pocahontas and Mulan. So, now a new princess will join the eight others in Disney's little multi-million dollar, "every little girl's fantasy" line-up. At least more little girls will actually see themselves represented. Now I won't comment on the fact that this latest princess is a "frog princess," which could be a very bad idea, but at least it's a step in the right direction. Here's a link to an article about it: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17524865/

Anxiety

2007-05-29T13:18:00.001-06:00

It finally occurred to me the other day that I actually am going to Harvard, and that I actually am moving to Massachusetts, and that I am actually going to have to leave this place. It's not that I intellectually did not know this was going to happen--it seems it just finally decided to sink into my consciousness.

Then I freaked out.

So, over the last week, I have been praying and meditating and doing all these things to dig into the anxiety. I feel much better today. I wanted to enclose these two prayers because I think they relate to what I've been feeling, and probably what others are as well. On that note, if anyone likes to pray, then throw one in there for me!!!!!!!

I Teeter on the Brink of Endings by Ted Loder

O God of endings,
you promised to be with me always,
even to the end of time.
Move with me now in these occasions of last things,
of shivering vulnerabilities and letting go:
letting go of parents gone,
past gone,
friends going,
old self growing;
letting go of children grown,
needs outgrown,
prejudices ingrown,
illusions overgrown;
letting go of swollen grudges and shrunken loves.
Be with me in my end of things,
my letting go of dead things,
dead ways,
dead words,
dead self I hold so tightly,
defend so blindly,
fear losing so frantically.
I teeter on the brink of endings:
some anticipated,
some resisted,
some inevitable,
some surprising,
most painful;
and the mystery of them quiets me to awe.
In silence, Loard,
I feel now the curious blend of grief and gladness in me
over the endings that the ticking and whirling of things brings;
and I listen for your leading
to help me faithfully move on through the fear
of my time to let go
so the timeless may take hold of me.

Prayer by Howard Thurman

“Give me the courage to live!
Really live – not merely exist.
Live dangerously,
Scorning risk!
Live honestly,
Daring the truth –
Particularly the truth of myself!
Live resiliently –
Ever changing, ever growing, ever adapting.
Enduring the pain of change
As though ’twere the travail of birth.
Give me the courage to live,
Give me the strength to be free
And endure the burden of freedom
And the loneliness of those without chains;
Let me not be trapped by success,
Nor by failure, nor pleasure, nor grief,
Nor malice, nor praise, nor remorse!
Give me the courage to go on!
Facing all that waits on the trail –
Going eagerly, joyously on,
And paying my way as I go,
Without anger or fear or regret
Taking what life gives,
Spending myself to the full,
Head high, spirit winged, like a god –
On…on…till the shadows draw close.
Then even when darkness shuts down,
And I go out alone, as I came,
Naked and blind as I came–
Even then, gracious God, hear my prayer:
Give me the courage to live!”

Amen.

More West Slope

2007-05-29T12:48:00.000-06:00

At the beginning of May, I had the amazing privilege of speaking to a women's gathering on the Western Slope of Colorado. I traveled to Paonia, CO, and took a scenic drive down I-70 and McClure Pass. I was especially excited to see the hometown area of my bf Emily, who was born and raised in Crawford, CO. Paonia reminded of the embracing hospitality of small towns, and was so grateful to the ladies who put me up in a Bed and Breakfast and took me out to dinner. I really felt at home.

This trip was even more timely, as the drive took place over May 9--the anniversary of my stepdad's death. I like to retreat during this time even year, to reflect and honor his memory. I was wary of traveling to speak over such a vulnerable time, but it turned out to be just the thing I needed. It's funny how we are often given what we need even if we can't see it. The drive through the mountains was a perfect way to commemorate Sonny's life. I felt his presence with me the entire way--so fitting for someone who loved the great outdoors as much as he did. The town and church, with their vestiges of home, comforted me.

In times of brokenness, God often gives me much more relevant things to say regarding the issues we deal with at Warren Village. I empathize so much more with my residents when I remember my own broken self and my time of grief. Like Ted Loder wrote, "What can I believe, except what Jesus taught: that only what is first broken, like bread, can be shared."

Some verses used during talk on brokenness:

Psalm 51:17(NIV) The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Psalm 147:3(NIV) He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Jeremiah 2:13 (NIRV)
"My people have sinned twice. They have deserted me, even though I am the spring of water that gives life. And they have dug their own wells. But those wells are broken. They can't hold any water."

Psalm 34:18(NIV) "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Isaiah 58:12(NIV) "Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings."

West Slope Excursion

2007-05-29T12:45:00.000-06:00

That's how we roll

2007-05-29T12:07:00.001-06:00

Here's Colleen, Em and I hanging out with Colorado State Representative Terrance Carroll. Terrance didn't think I would really stick his picture on my blog, but of course, I had to prove him wrong.

Brooke's Story

2007-05-23T14:18:00.000-06:00

Dear Friends,

My name is Brooke and I am a current resident of Warren Village. I must admit that I’ve made a few mistakes along the way, however, moving to Warren Village was probably one of the best decisions I’ve made. As a mother of three, I feel like I can conquer the world and do things independently. So for me, it was difficult to ask for help. It was a very humbling experience when I moved to Warren Village. I felt like I was taking several steps backward, when in all actuality, I was launching myself 10 steps forward. Here is my story.

Addiction has played a large role in my life. Although I graduated from Cherry Creek High School with honors, experimentation quickly turned into a decade of serious drug use. In an effort to find myself, I traveled extensively throughout the U.S., sinking deeper into my addiciton. What was once a marijuana habit escalated into the abuse of heroin, cocaine, and methamphetamines.

In 2003, social services temporarily removed my children from my home, and I entered an inpatient treatment facility. I thanked God for my life, and was eager to turn myself around. Upon completion of the substance abuse program and compliance with courts, I regained custody of my two sons. I met a man, found an apartment to rent, enrolled in college courses and stumbled upon Warren Village to assist in my day care needs. Things were really looking up.

In January 2005, the man I had been dating violently beat me to the ground and assaulted my two children. I was four months pregnant with his child. I felt defeated once again. Physically scarred, emotionally distraught and financially unstable, I applied to the Warren Village housing program. I moved in during May of 2005 and had my third son two months later. After considering abortion and adoption, Warren Village gave me the opportunity to choose to keep my child.

In the 10 short months at Warren Village, I’ve continued to move forward in my recovery from drug addiction, celebrating two years clean. I’ve made huge advancements towards self-sufficiency with the help of numerous resources. Evening classes vary from infant massage to restoration of credit. Faith and encouragement are extended to all residents from the loving arms of the Warren Village staff. My children are safe, secure, stable and happy.

I currently sit on the Parent/Teacher Advisory Board for the Warren Village Learning Center, and actively participate in my children’s school and extra-curricular activities. I advocate strongly on behalf of women and children of domestic violence and promote freedom from addiction. I work full-time at Whole Foods Market and continue to advance within my career. I share my story openly and have spoken at numerous Warren Village events, as it helps me grow and heal.

Your support is paramount to my family and others like me. I thank you each individually from the bottom of my heart.

Matters of Faith Find a New Prominence on Campus

2007-05-21T15:37:00.000-06:00

Here's a New York Times article that HDS had posted on its website. HDS Professor quoted in the text:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/02/education/02spirituality.html?ex=1179892800&en=50232ba239dfb1bb&ei=5070

Last Time I Checked...

2007-05-21T15:06:00.001-06:00

Catholics are Christians. Unfortunately, I keep running in evangelical circles that would like to believe it's us against them. A recent member of my Bible study used a devout Catholic friend as an example of someone who is not a Christian. Whatever happened to: "Anyone who is not against us is for us" (Mark 9:40 NIV)?

Here's an article regarding the recent Roman Catholic conversion of Francis J. Beckwith who formerly led the Evangelical Theological Society and teaches at Baylor University.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/11/AR2007051101929.html

Evangelical leaders are apparently up in arms. Denver Seminary's own Douglas Groothuis said, among other things, that Beckwith was "embracing serious theological error."

Now I'm no expert on the Protestant Reformation, but, being Protestant, I am thankful for Luther's 95 Theses and the change that it brought the last 500 years. However, I always understood that the Protestant Reformation also led to the Catholic or Counter Reformation. The Catholic Church today is also reformed from the Catholic Church then.

I must admit that I have to repeat Mark 9:40 to myself when I come across thoughts and ideas from evangelical or even mainline leaders that I disagree with, and I realize there is room for error when it comes to deciding who is not against us. But seriously, people. I don't agree with Southern Baptist theology, but I still manage to accept them as Christians. (And in fact, conservative evangelicals and Roman Catholics probably agree on more stuff than many realize.)

To top it off, two of the most spiritual and God-centered women I know are devout Roman Catholics. They break my stereotypes every day. They know truth, and it's the same truth I seek to live out every day.

All-Star

2007-05-01T12:37:00.000-06:00

Warren Village hosted its annual All-Star Breakfast at a nice hotel downtown this morning. This breakfast is our big benefit/fundraiser that we have every year. When I first learned that my organization's big production was a breakfast--which involves getting up at 5 a.m., I was not so thrilled. Of course, I get placed at the one place that doesn't do a luncheon or a dinner like everyone else. Morning person I am not.

Despite the early wake-up call, the event had record numbers in attendance this year. Our speaker was Vince Papale (the guy was the inspiration for the Disney movie Invincible--Mark Wahlberg plays him in the film). The real all-star though, was Elizabeth. Her story is posted below. She was our Resident of the Year, and shared her story with the huge audience. I've heard and read Elizabeth's story countless time, but today, she shared it better than ever. I couldn't help but cry. At least I wasn't the only one. It gives me goosebumps to think she will be graduating from CSU in a week. Elizabeth and I came to Warren Village around the same time, and we will be leaving at the same time. It's amazing how much we've both grown.

"My people shall dwell in quiet resting places." Isaiah 32:18

2007-04-18T16:52:00.000-06:00

Here's a link from NPR with short bios about the victims of the Virginia Tech shooting:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9647439

Not to endorse Stalin or anything, but he did have a point when he said, "One death is a tragedy; a million is a statistic." To keep hearing that 33 deaths have occurred was not as real to me as actually seeing some of their faces at the above link. One of the victims and a German professor, Jamie Bishop, was a fellow UGA grad. Here's a link to his personal website for his art: www.memory39.com

Elizabeth's Story

2007-04-12T16:48:00.000-06:00

My name is Elizabeth Anderson and I am a current resident of Warren Village. I was raised in Colorado, and my family still lives here. Seven years ago, I was a student at Colorado State University, working on my degree in Biochemistry. It was there that I met the man who was to become my husband.

He was a spiritual leader in my church, and became a spiritual leader for me as well. He was the person I thought I could spend the rest of my life with.

We married and relocated to Connecticut, where he continued to be a part of our church leadership, and I too, taught classes for women. We were blessed with two beautiful children—our son Chance, who is now eight, and our daughter Yapahitaza, who is five. Our life looked ideal on the surface, but inside our home, it was a nightmare of verbal, emotional and physical abuse.

My husband was not the man I thought he was. The abuse eventually became unbearable, and one morning, I picked up my children and we fled. My family arranged for us to come on a flight to Denver. We were unable to stay with family because my husband threatened to show up at their home. We ended up staying at Safehouse Denver, an emergency shelter, for five months before moving to Warren Village.

When I came to live here, I was underweight and suffering from depression. I was battling blackouts and other problems due to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. My PTSD was so severe that I was put on disability, and was not expected to recover.

Since coming to Warren Village, I have found a renewed sense of place. I have a place where my children and I can begin to heal. I have a place where I can once again achieve my goals. I have also found a place where I can provide a new life for my family, and escape the life we left behind.

In the year I have lived at Warren Village, I have been transformed in many ways, thanks in part to the resources and people at Warren Village. I am back to a healthy weight, and I have my Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder under control. I am once again a full-time student Colorado State University, and will complete my degree in Biochemistry in May 2007. My goal is to do research in the pharmaceutical industry.

While my children and I continue to heal, I have moved from victim to advocate. I am a trained resident speaker for Warren Village. I share my story openly and at numerous events, so that others can be empowered. I am also a member of LEAD, a council of residents at Warren Village. I enjoy taking evening classes that encourage my self-sufficiency, and I have recently become a class facilitator myself. I lead a class called “Experience Victory,” that encourages residents to overcome a history of domestic violence.

Because of the support from people like you, I am experiencing my own victory. I sincerely thank each and every one of you.

Speak Up

2007-04-12T16:20:00.000-06:00

So when I started this whole missionary gig, I used to go on and on about how I was going to be a voice for the voiceless. I even wrote about it in an article for my denomination's website. Looking back, I was lame and now I am a little embarassed about my zeal on this topic. I don't think I was completely off-base, but my outlook needed adjustment. As a journalist, I've always loved Proverbs 31: 8-9: “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.” I still love this verse, but now I see that speaking up for someone is different than speaking for someone.

Besides, observing someone who cannot speak for themselves is much different than saying that someone is voiceless. No one is voiceless. The deaf have a voice. The disabled have a voice. The poor, the uneducated, the marginalized have voices. Whether anyone listens is a different story. People may speak in a still, small whisper (oddly enough, just like God did with Elijah), but they are still speaking.

I see my job now as making a platform for this type of speaking. I can interview people, get their stories on paper. I can teach them tools to to write their words and speak their mind. Sure, I still speak up for people, but I would not claim to be their voice. I am a little white girl from South Carolina. My voice is strong and is my own, but it cannot possibly be the voice of everyone. As Shane Claiborne points out in Irresistable Revolution: "Perhaps we are too quick to assume folks cannot speak for themselves."

Here at Warren Village, we have amassed in my nearly two years of service, a wealth of resident stories. Over time, I want to share them on this blog. We have permission to share these stories, although there are many more stories that cannot be shared due to the safety concerns of our residents. Some of these shared stories are transcribed from the resident's words. Some are written by the residents themselves. They prove that everyone has a voice--if we only listen amidst all our noise.

1 Kings 19:11-13

The LORD said,

"Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

I'm not a reject!

2007-03-21T16:55:00.000-06:00

So I am still a little in shock. This week, my acceptance letters from Harvard, Duke and Yale came in, as well as generous fellowship offers. It's been a surreal experience, which I am sure is exacerbated by the Sudafed/Medicine Head thing I've got going on with this cold. Anyway, I don't think the good fortune has completely sunk in my brain. Harvard has been my favorite all along. I worked the hardest on that application. I love their program and the location, and they are also offering the most lucrative fellowship. Needless to say, those facts make my decision easier. So while it's not official until I send in my signed letter, I can unofficially say I will probably be attending Harvard Divinity School in the fall.

So here's the lowdown on the scholarships and fellowships. Thank goodness for a free ride, since working as a missionary has really allowed me to bank all this cash.

Harvard Divinity School

Williams Fellowship

Full tuition, plus a living stipend

"The award is granted each year to entering masters of divinity students who, in the estimation of the admissions committee, submitted the most outstanding applications for admission and who demonstrate substantial promise for ministry. The scholarship will be provided each year of the degree program."

Yale Divinity School

William Sloane Coffin, Jr. Scholarship

Full tuition, plus a living stipend

"The William Sloane Coffin, Jr. Scholarship is awarded to one student each year based on demonstrated commitment to Coffin's prophetic leadership, his passion for justice, and his critical theological interpretations of the contemporary social and political scene."

Duke Divinity School

Distinguished Service Scholarship

75% of Tuition

"This award is given to students who combine outstanding leadership and service to the church."

Chucktown, South Cackalacky

2007-03-05T20:55:00.000-07:00

Otherwise known as the first time I've seen saltwater in over a year...

The Littlest Cousin and Uncle Pat's Birthday Cake

2007-03-05T20:49:00.000-07:00

School Travels Part 2

2007-03-05T19:37:00.000-07:00

School Travels Part 1

2007-03-05T19:30:00.000-07:00

Paradox and Perspective

2007-02-25T12:59:00.000-07:00

Last week, I got the chance to sit in on one of Harvey Cox's classes, which was an amazing opportunity. Two other schools I've visited only let you sit in on big lectures, and I assumed this one would be the same. I apparently didn't read the course description well enough to know that the class size limit was 12, so I was a tad intimidated when I realized I would just be sitting around the table, participating along with everyone else.

Anyway, the course takes a biographical approach to Religion and Society in the 20th century. Each week they read a biography of a different religious figure and have a discussion. They were discussing Aimee Semple McPherson, and then getting an overview of Reinhold Niebuhr, who they would be discussing the next week. I liked what Prof. Cox and the chosen biographer had to say about Niebuhr being a theologian whose central theme was paradox. I'm going to completely butcher what Cox said, but he mentioned that for Niebuhr, "It isn't either this or that. It's both. It's not "neither"; it's both."

I just really like that because much of religious thought is full of paradoxes, but it is still true for me. It's refreshing and non-fundamental to see that two opposing things can exist and still be true. I think it speaks to our Christian faith as a whole. I mean, Jesus was both man and God. Mary was both a virgin and with child. David was both a murderer and a man after God's own heart. With our ability to reason, it's hard to see two paradoxes as both being true. It makes me think of that elephant poem, which is attributed to a lot of different authors, but I'll go with the one by Rumi (who was Muslim, and also brings out the point that non-Christians can also live out truth). Anyway, the poem has to do with the limits of our individual perspective.

"Elephant in the Dark"

Some Hindus have an elephant to show.
No one here has ever seen an elephant.
They bring it at night to a dark room.

One by one, we go in the dark and come out
saying how we experience the animal.

One of us happens to touch the trunk.
"A water-pipe kind of creature."

Another, the ear. "A very strong, always moving
back and forth, fan-animal."

Another, the leg. "I find it still,
like a column on a temple."

Another touches the curved back.
"A leathery throne."

Another, the cleverest, feels the tusk.
"A rounded sword made of porcelain."
He's proud of his description.

Each of us touches one place
and understands the whole in that way.

The palm and the fingers feeling in the dark are
how the senses explore the reality of the elephant.

If each of us held a candle there,
and if we went in together,
we could see it.

My anthropology professor at UGA, Sandra Whitney, used that poem as an example on the first day of class and I have never forgotten it. In closing, I guess I'll leave a few quotes by Niebuhr himself.

"I think there ought to be a club in which preachers and journalists could come together and have the sentimentalism of the one matched with the cynicism of the other. That ought to bring them pretty close to the truth." Reinhold Niebuhr (so I guess if I become a preacher and a journalist, I'll just be one big paradox)

"Life is a battle between faith and reason in which each feeds upon the other, drawing sustenance from it and destroying it." Reinhold Niebuhr

"Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary." Reinhold Niebuhr

You Don't Say

2007-02-25T12:45:00.000-07:00

"It's hard for me, you know, living in this beautiful White House, to give you a firsthand assessment."
President George W. Bush, when asked if he believed Iraq was in a state of civil war

Travels Thus Far

2007-02-22T20:50:00.000-07:00

Beginning on 2/19/07 from Denver:

Car to Airport--Plane to Pittsburgh--Plane to Boston--Bus to Subway--Subway to Cambridge--Taxi to Inn--(next day) Walked All Over--Subway to Train Station--Subway back to Cambridge--(next day)Taxi to South Station(at 4:30 a.m.)--Amtrak Train to New Haven--Taxi to Campus--Taxi back to Train Station--Amtrak Train to Boston--Subway to Cambridge--(next day)Subway to South Station--Bus to Airport--Plane to Newark, NJ--Plane to Charlotte--Car to HOME in South Carolina...whew!

Four days and 4 Planes, 2 Buses, 5 Subway Trains, 4 Taxis, 2 Amtrak trains and 2 Cars...so far

My Reminder

2007-02-15T16:05:00.000-07:00

A Covenant Prayer in the Wesleyan Tradition

I am no longer my own, but thine.
Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed by thee or laid aside for thee,
Exalted for thee or brought low for thee.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things
To thy pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,
Thou art mine, and I am thine. So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
Let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.

Seminary

2007-02-15T15:54:00.000-07:00

So I'm thinking about going to seminary. In thinking this, it's gotten other people in my life thinking...thinking about how I should go about all this. That's a lot of thinking going on. While everything is still very open-ended, I will open up about one way that I envision my path. (Of course, there are a lot of forks in the road, and this is just one direction.) I'm quite intrigued by the ways religious journalism could combine my interest in faith with my interest in journalism. It's a nice way to combine my callings. And though it seems limited, I see it as widespread.

As Jeff Sharlet wrote, "Religion, in the true broad sense, underlies, controls, permeates at least half the stories in the news, probably a lot more. Iraq, Iran, Israel -- those are easy, we know those are religion stories. George W. Bush is a religion story. Stemcell research and gay marriage and school vouchers are religion stories, although not at all limited to the narrow pro and con set of beliefs with which they are typically framed. The question of race in America is infused with God, top to bottom, and anyone who covers immigration without thinking about conversion and apostasy and literalism might as well not be writing about it at all."

Sharlet edits Revealer.com, among many other things, and I like the premises the website puts out there: 1. Belief matters, whether or not you believe. Politics, pop culture, high art, NASCAR -- everything in this world is infused with concerns about the next. As journalists, as scholars, and as ordinary folks, we cannot afford to ignore the role of religious belief in shaping our lives. 2. The press all too frequently fails to acknowledge religion, categorizing it as either innocuous spirituality or dangerous fanaticism, when more often it's both and inbetween and just plain other. 3. We deserve and need better coverage of religion: sharper thinking; deeper history; thicker description; basic theology; real storytelling.

So, there's some more stuff to think about.

Dates, Drama and Drag

2007-01-30T16:48:00.000-07:00

One of my dear friends has a habit of posting witty Craigslist personal ads for kicks. Por ejemplo, one of her recent posts said she wanted an asthmatic boyfriend in order to help her quit smoking. Her latest ad, entitled "I'll Even Let You Wear My Clothes," specified that she was looking for a drag queen boyfriend, which kind of fits since she enjoys androgyne. On Sunday, she declared her love for a particular drag queen after a visit to Bump 'n Grind, the Denver brunch locale where all the servers dress in drag. Really. I couldn't make this up.

So anyway, she posted the ad, not really expecting a legitimate response. Lo and behold, a guy e-mails her. He happens to include pictures. She happens to recognize him.

He happens to be someone I went on a few dates with over a year ago.

What does this say about my love life? Just to clarify--I don't think my current fellow Karl has the same tendencies.

Furthermore, after I decided this wasn't the guy for me (good call), I tried to set this same friend and this same guy up on a date. I thought they'd be perfect for each other.

Was I right? Or was I oh-so-wrong?

Renewed Faith in the State of Humanity

2007-01-29T12:34:00.000-07:00

Since I've been a little bitter blogger the past week, I thought I'd post something a tad more uplifting. Last weekend, I volunteered (thanks to the lovely Colleen) at the Entertainment Project, a Denver-based non-profit that promotes literacy to kids through real-world projects and assignments in arts and entertainment.

The organization has tons of great programs, but I volunteered with the Whose Magazine portion. The magazine is a youth-produced publication, comprised of their stories, interviews, photography, reviews and poetry. As volunteers, we edited the kids' pieces. Hello?!? Could any volunteer opportunity be more up my alley? I think not.

Anyway, the magazine contains 200 pages of absolutely amazing work. You will not believe what a 8 year-old can do when given the chance. So, I'm urging, begging, pleading everyone to check out their website, their magazine and this program.

Go RIGHT NOW to http://www.whosemagazine.org/index.html

You can get more information, order the publication online, and buy greeting cards made out of the kids' photography.

I am not a damsel in distress thankyouverymuch

2007-01-23T19:10:00.000-07:00

The following is a comment I made on my friend's blog, after she asked for our thoughts on John Eldredge's book Wild at Heart...

Ugh. I know Wild at Heart is a very polarizing book. You either love it or you hate it. I happen to be in the latter category. I think it's more pop psychology than actual theology. While Eldredge makes makes some good points, his premise distrurbs me. Men and women are definitely different, but each gender covers a broad spectrum of personalities and needs. He talks as if all men need to be macho, masculine surburbanites in search of their next wilderness adventure. He also says that all men need three things: a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.

Seriously? I am a woman, but I do not want to be a beauty that is rescued by a man, thankyouverymuch. If I need to be rescued, it will be by my Creator, not by my partner.

It's that kind of "damsel in distress" mentality that leads women to do the kinds of things that "astound" Eldredge. Case in point:

"I am astounded what young women will offer when they are famished for the love and affirmation they have never had from their fathers. They will throw themselves at a man to get a taste of being wanted, desired." -Eldredge

Maybe if we let G-d heal those wounds, we wouldn't be throwing ourselves at men, hoping to be "rescued" from our needs. Yet, Eldredge tells men that they need a beauty to rescue. I really don't see the coherent argument.

Maybe I am just doomed to disagree with Eldredge. Other questionable passages include telling his son to hit the bully on the playground, and inferring that women would rather be beautiful than hardworking. Maybe women are conditioned to want to be beautiful, but scripture (i.e. Proverbs 31) instructs women to value work over beauty. Furthermore, all this follow your heart crap bothers me. Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things..."

I could go on and on, just as I could go on and on about Focus on the Family (where Eldredge got his start). I'll close with this last thought:

Eldredge said, "Contrary to what you may have been led to believe, the Incarnation of grace, meekness, and love is not Mister Rogers with a beard! He is more like Maximus in the movie Gladiator or William Wallace in Braveheart."

Eldredge's hypermasculine version of Jesus just doesn't completely mesh. I always understood that the prevailing culture of Jesus's time thought that the Messiah would come as some great warrior, waving a sword and bringing salvation through battle. Perhaps that's why many failed to see Jesus for who he really was. And when they beat him senseless, he didn't hit back.

Who is this Guy?

2007-01-23T18:13:00.000-07:00

Meet Wayne Grudem. He's a theologian and teacher. He doesn't think women should be ordained, or lead men in the church. Of course, he says they can be missionaries, which, apparently never involves instructing men.

He also says that if women become preachers, God will withdraw blessings from them. He uses the example of a female pastor in Virginia who is now in jail. That's right. There's a direct cause and effect between her being a pastor and her attempting murder.

What a piece of crap. Sorry. That's probably not nice. Read the article entitled "Women Pastors: Not the Path to Blessing" below, as well as Grudem's checklists on what men and women are allowed to do. Actually, it reads more like men are allowed to do anything; women can only do a few things...

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/202/story_20219_1.html

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/203/story_20340_1.html

And then please read these opposing thoughts by Tony Campolo and J. Lee Grady because, well, they don't suck like the aforementioned diatribes.

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/201/story_20177_1.html

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/63/story_6359_1.html

Even though I've been thoroughly frustrated with my denomination's formal ordination process, I should make note that they at least think my gender is worthy of such a process. And maybe lately, I'm just all hyped up on the issue of gender anyway. My small group is discussing gender, and last week, I got all angry over the book Wild at Heart, which so many seem to love. Actually, that started with a post to my friend's blog when she asked for our thoughts about the book. I'll go ahead and repost it above.

Good Things

2007-01-16T15:29:00.000-07:00

Aww, my title is oh-so-very Martha Stewart--even if my house is not. (Case in point: the every-growing pile of laundry.) Anyway, today's good things from Tiff:

1. Dover Thrift Editions
How else can you get a new copy of The Dubliners for $2? These cheap, little editions of classic books are available online and at the Tattered Cover, the amazing bookstore that's just a short walk from my house. Oh so bad and yet oh so good.

2. CD opening technique
This is an elusive dream for many. The perfect way to open those pesky plastic-wrapped and stickered new CDs was brought to me courtesy of Ms. Leila, who I spent a summer with at Paste magazine. She's now married to its illustrious publisher, btw. Compact discs that are wrapped in plastic should be dragged across a hard surface, just along their skinny, ridged bottom edge. This will rip the plastic enough, taking you to the next annoying layer. Then, gently pop off the entire cover, which will pull the sticker off. Remove any excess. Then, pop the cover back on (make sure you don't break any plastic parts.) And voila...you have an open CD in less time than it takes to destroy a manicure. Once technique is perfected, you'll be opening CDs like a machine. Now only if I had the money to buy that many CDs...

3. Lindt Lindor Chocolates
Make you go mmmmm...Could melt in your mouth and your hand. There's something about a gooey-centered chocolate ball that is perfection.

4. Converse Chuck Taylors
I mean, really, there is no explanation needed here. Due to Denver's ever-increasing amount of snow, I have been loathe to wear any dress shoes at all, and boots are getting old. So today, I wore my Chuck Taylors to work, along with my dress pants and button up shirt/sweater combo. See...they are genius with anything!

This brings me to my next point, which involves bad things, very bad things, mostly involving...

1. Snow
Pretty...at first. Then, it becomes rock-hard black ice, mixed with gray sludge. Add that to the rust-inducing road chemicals that are destroying all my shoes and the beautiful silver paint on my car, and this does not come close to goodness. The alley where my parking spot exists has become my daily obstacle course. I have learned not to scream every time I fishtail. The road ruts and potholes are messing up my just-aligned vehicle. Plus, it has snowed every, single Friday (my day off that I generally use to run errands) since the storm before Christmas. This Friday, however, it is not supposed to snow. It's just going to wait until Monday.

Arghh...what happened to the normal Colorado weather?

The National Championship: A Few More Obnoxious Thoughts on Why I Heart the SEC

2007-01-09T13:14:00.000-07:00

"The SEC champion Gators were joined in the Top 25 by five other league rivals. No other conference finished with more in the top 25." --ESPN.com

AP ranked Georgia number #23, and I'll gladly take that honor, given the rough season we had.

So should we be surprised that Florida dominated Ohio State?

"On the field after the game Monday night, Florida junior defensive end Jarvis Moss suggested an explanation. 'We played a lot better teams than Ohio State this year,' Moss said, a piece of blue confetti sweat-stuck to his neck. 'I can name four or five teams in the SEC that would compete real well against them.'" --quote from article by Ivan Maisel, ESPN.com

And here is, perhaps, my favorite explanation, given courtesy of Gene Wojciechowski of ESPN.com, in a "memo" to Jim Walden, former Washington State head coach, on ESPN.com (Walden was one of the loners who predicted the Gators would win.)

"As you watched the 41-14 blowout, you said that no team in the country 'had played more great teams, more often, with more consistency and with more intensity than Florida.' You said there was no comparison between Florida's SEC schedule and Ohio State's Big Ten opponents.
'Ohio State and Michigan were the two best teams in a really bad league. Florida was the best team in a really good league.' "

See there? I am genuinely excited for the Gators, if only for selfish purposes. Their big win makes all Georgia's losses to them a little less painful. Well, ok, maybe it doesn't. But it does make our conference and us look better. So there.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow---NOOOOOOO

2007-01-05T17:47:00.000-07:00

It's snowing. I am sick of it snowing. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt--namely me slip and sliding down the sidewalk. It might look all pretty and fluffy until it turns to brown, icy sludge. And no one thinks that's pretty.

This is the third snow in as many weeks. What is this? Did Colorado just trick me into believing they had beautiful weather during my first year here? I've heard the natives complain, so at least I'm not the only one. The snow needs to stay in the mountains where it belongs. I can't ski down my driveway. Heck--I can't even drive down my driveway.

This time, it's at least a light snow. Too bad it's just covering up the solid layer of ice that has devloped beneath it. I'm beginning to feel trapped in my own apartment due to my overwhelming fear of driving in this weather. South Carolinians did it right--we hibernate for a week when it snows three inches.

So Long 2006--It was a very good year

2007-01-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

I'll Be Home for Christmas (If Only in My Dreams)

2007-01-05T16:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I did actually make it home for Christmas, but just barely. Thanks to the ill-timed Blizzard of '06, my first flight was canceled. Although I was thankful to not be one of the refugees stranded in Denver International Airport, I sulked around my apartment for a good 48 hours. I was one of the lucky few, however, who managed to get a rebooked flight out Friday before Christmas. Too bad the flight was out of Colorado Springs--a good hour away and across an interstate that was closed due to the storm. Still, together with the driver of the car we rented and CDOT clearing the highways, I made it to the Springs.

It's trite, but thinking that I would be spending the holidays alone made me even more thankful to be home and spending the holidays with my family--most of whom I hadn't seen in a year. And of course, we all know how stressful family time can be, but mostly, I have no complaints. And, I know this year, I won't wait so long to go home.

P.S. Humidity is a strange thing. Besides making my skin feel better, when I stepped off the plane in Charlotte, the air just smelled better. Oh, and getting to eat Waffle House wasn't too shabby either.

Above are a few pics of the reason I almost didn't make it home for Christmas...I especially like the ones of Emily and I with the biggest snowman ever. I also have to give a special thanks to Emily, my always-fun Colfax cohort. She kept me sane during the storm, and took my mind off a lonely Christmas. Here's to bad Greek food, limoncello, and 7-11 snack stops!

T Minus 3 Days Until Holiday Shop

2006-12-12T14:58:00.000-07:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

Only seven more 12-hour work days left before I get to go home for the first time in a year. The Holidays are the Village's most hectic time of the year. Wish me luck with the exhaustion. And right now, I get to drive down to Colorado Springs to speak. I hope I don't fall asleep at the podium...

A Reluctant Fan

2006-12-04T22:26:00.000-07:00

I could not bring myself to post the University of Florida logo on my blog. I thought the Southeastern Conference logo would do. I despise the Gators more than any other team in the SEC. I have made fun of their jean shorts. I have mocked their gator chomps. I have ridiculed UF boys with their copious amounts of hair gel. Still, they will be representing the world's greatest college football conference in the national championship. And I do believe that the team with the hardest strength of schedule in the nation deserves to play. I reluctantly rooted for UF during the NCAA basketball championship. I suppose I can grin and bear it again. My friends out here tell me that the SEC just "thinks" we're the greatest. Of course, all of us know without a doubt we are.

Mission Thought for the Day

2006-12-04T22:01:00.000-07:00

"Missions then is less about the transportation of God from one place to another and more about the identification of a God who is already there. It is almost as if being a good missionary means having really good eyesight. Or maybe it means teaching people to use their eyes to see things that have always been there; they just didn't realize it. You see God where others don't. And then you point him out."

--Rob Bell, from Velvet Elvis

Grateful for Jenn and Amy

2006-12-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

This is a two-part post. One, I would like to give a big congrats to Miss "J-E-double N" because she took the LSAT yesterday. The pics above are from our celebration.

I would also like to say thanks for Miss Amy, who is a-okay after a slighty traumatic car accident this past week. See, Coloradans--driving in the snow is scary!!

Gilmore Girls

2006-11-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

I'm a Gilmore-head. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I love that freakin' show. And since the bunny ears on my TV pick up very few channel selections, I watch the Season DVDs over and over and over again. It makes me happy. However, what does not make me happy is this: Since the show's creators and writers-fabulaire left at the end of last season, the show is not as good. Seriously. Not. As. Good. The witty banter is not the same. The plot moves too quickly. It jumps from one thing to another. I mean, it took over five years to get Lorelai and Luke together, and in just a few episodes, Lorelai goes from being engaged to Luke to being married to Christopher. Not cool. And Rory is whiny. I miss brooding, shy Rory. I don't like bubbly, crazy editor Rory. Ok, I'm done. I'll still watch the show, but I'll wax nostalgic. Amy Sherman-Palladino, please ignore the stupid, corporate, network execs. Come back and write my one-hour of Tuesday bliss!!!!

Indonesian Protests

2006-11-20T12:42:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, when I was reading about the protests against President Bush in Indonesia, I couldn't help remembering something a journalism professor of mine used to say. He had been an AP reporter covering Asia during the Vietnam-war era. I thought of him yesterday when the news showed pictures of the protests, where all the signs were in English. Of course, many Indonesian people can speak English. However, why in a country where Indonesian and over 300 regional languages are spoken, are the signs in English?

My professor described this kind of protest many times in class, saying that when protest signs in a non-English speaking country were in English, there was more to the story. Clearly, protestors meant to send a message to the English-speaking world, and it seems that they meant to use our media to do that. No reporter that I saw or read yesterday commented on the language of the signs. Could it be that we're so ethnocentric that we believe protestors automatically use English as their preferred language? It seems the media let the signs speak for themselves because, of course, everyone seeing the images in the U.S. could read them. I was sad when no news reporter researched who organized the protests, who was behind them, or who made all those signs. I don't know. It just seems like bad journalism to me to take something like that at face value.

College Football

2006-11-20T12:12:00.000-07:00

NCAA Football should have playoffs. I think the Michigan v. Ohio State game proves that. I'm also a little biased because of my SEC allegiance, where every good team beats at least one other amazing team during the season, thus making our rankings fall, and insuring hardly any teams go undefeated.

Of course, I am proud that my Dawgs redeemed themselves somewhat last weekend, with a dominating win over #5 Auburn. That win at least partly makes up for losing to two of the worst teams in the SEC. I think this is what we call a "rebuilding" year. Or at least that's what we say to make ourselves feel better.

Holly and Davis

2006-11-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

Two of my best friends got engaged yesterday. Crazy. The wedding won't be for another year and a half, but I couldn't be happier for the happy couple. For me, it seems way too soon to marry, but for the two of them, all I have to say is...It's about darn time! Blessings and Congratulations to the future Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Democrats take over Congress

2006-11-09T15:50:00.000-07:00

YAY!!!!

I guess at this point I should put my missionary disclaimer. I tend to be suspicious of combining religion and politics. As MLKjr. said, "The church must be reminded that it is not the master or the servant of the state, but rather the conscience of the state. It must be the guide and the critic of the state, and never its tool." I believe separation of church and state works well for both entities. Since I work in ministry, I find that concept to be a fine balance. And furthermore, God is not a Republican...or a Democrat.

I am a little happy, however, that new trends seem to show that being an Evangelical Christian and a Democrat is no longer deemed impossible. Being a member of a mainline denomination, I've been raised in an environment that speaks strongly about social justice and the rights of the poor--a very Democratic stance. However, my relationship to the Evangelical world seems to say that abortion and same-sex marriage are the only two items on the agenda.

This election year seems to say that people are ready for a change--maybe because of the war, maybe for other reasons. I know I'm all for it. I never thought the Iraq War was a great move in the first place (as many arguments with certain very pro-Republican family and friends can prove), but what's done is done. Our government has to find the best option now.

I'm ready for other changes. I'm ready for a time when people won't hear Christian politics and think right-wing. I'm ready for a time when Christian friends won't tell me which Presidential hopeful is God's candidate. (I think we gave up Divine Right when we gave up monarchies.) I'm ready for a time when we can accept a person into the fold even if we don't understand their life choices. I've heard it said that we should hate the sin and not the sinner. Good strategy, but why can't we just stop hating? Maybe we're too human; maybe we can't separate our hatred of sin with the sinner. I'll leave that up to God.

I'm ready for a time when we can stop pointing out everyone else's sins ("planks in their eyes") and start examining our own weaknesses. I get that the Bible gives many examples of keeping each other accountable, and I would be lost without my "accountability" friends. Yet, it says first and foremost to love each other. I think if we Christians spent a shred more time loving people, rather than "keeping them accountable," we'd have a lot more impact.

As Gandhi said: "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

Welcome to my Neighborhood

2006-11-01T15:23:00.000-07:00

Last night, the police taped off a whole block of 14th Avenue, a main thoroughfare through Cap Hill. I was wondering what all the fuss was about, and Emily just sent me this article. It turns out, the police busted a suspected meth lab. Ok, so nowadays, that isn't that unusual, but still, kind of crazy. Oh, yeah, sorry Mom. Safety first.

Here's the link:
http://www.myfoxcolorado.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=1340198&version=6&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1

An Interesting Thought

2006-10-24T18:06:00.000-06:00

A quote from M. Scott Peck on the U.S.A.:

"It is notable that two hundred years ago this new nation spent virtually no money and no energy attempting to control the behavior of the nations of the world. Yet, one by one, almost ten by ten, the people of those nations followed our spiritual and political example to seek freedoms for themselves. It is hard to escape the conclusion that in the years since, our political and spiritual leadership has declined in inverse proportion to the increasing amounts of money and effort we have expanded to manipulate other countries...I wonder, if we in the United States were to concentrate--as our overwhelming priority--on making ourselves the best possible society we can be, whether the nations of the world might once again, without any pressure except the influcence of example, begin to emulate us."

Acceptance

2006-10-17T13:21:00.000-06:00

I assume that one of the key goals of every missionary is to be accepted by the culture in which they are working. I imagine this process can be dramatic for some--like my fellow US-2 Bre being accepted by the elders of her native community in Alaska, or Mary, another US-2, being accepted by her deaf community though she is a hearing person.

For me, it's a little more subtle. Culturally, I seem very similar to many of my residents. Though they are homeless, most are female, most speak English, and many had childhood experiences similar to mine. Yet, I'm not a single parent. I've never lived on the street or in a shelter. I've never been abused. I've never abused drugs. These experiences played a significant role in these parents' lives, and without them, it took me a long time to gain their trust.

This past year has been a kind of initiation. The current residents accepted me more quickly than I thought they would. It was the former residents, those active in what we call our Alumni Association that were the most suspicious. A key part of my job description is working with the Alumni Association--attending their monthly meetings, producing their bi-monthly newsletter, helping with their fundraisers, and organizing their events.

Last year, when a facilitator for one of their retreats fell through, my supervisor volunteered me for the job. I had just gotten here. I had never met any of them. And they vehemently did not want me leading, which I can understand. I was 22, right out of college, and some later told me that they thought I was just another privileged college girl come to help the poor people. They were quite adamant, ungrateful and mean-spirited about the whole thing, which I can tell you, makes you not really want to work for them for the money I make. They were sure that I was not strong enough or assertive enough to facilitate.

I went ahead with the retreat anyway, and decided to be just as strong-willed as they were. We went over a list of rules beforehand, about how to respect eachother and listen. Somehow, everyone got through the day without fighting, which I had been told had happened in the past. They got to know me, and I got over my fear of them.

Last night, at our regular monthly meeting, my supervisor told them that she had been unable to find a facilitator again this year. The leaders among the group, the ones who were most vocal about not accepting me last year, voted to have me lead. The group unanimously agreed. A few even joked about how they were so surprised last year when I proved myself. They expected the group to eat me alive, so to speak.

So last night, I got my acceptance. I feel like I've gone through some sort of Warren Village rite of passage. I understand more fully why the US-2 program is two years long. I've been here a year, and the real work has just begun.

P.S. It's snowing outside...our first real snowfall in Denver this year. I guess that's another sign that I'm acclimating. I'm not as freaked out about the white stuff as I was last year.

I got stuck in an elevator

2006-10-13T13:54:00.000-06:00

Here's the rundown of yesterday:

10:30 a.m. Began tour with corporate United Way volunteers

11:21 a.m. Got stuck in a Warren Village elevator with 12 tour members

11:33 a.m. Was rescued by Dev, our Housing guy, who pried the elevator doors open so we could jump down to the floor below

11:48 a.m. Concluded ill-fated tour, hoping that these guys donate simply because their Warren Village experience was unforgettable

And skipping to the end of my day...

3:52 p.m. Made fake palm trees out of cardboard, wire hangers and butcher paper. I'm considering my new career as a professional set designer.
(The palms will be making their appearance on Sunday at the Warren Village watering hole, a rest stop oasis along the path of the Denver Marathon. We even have stone camels and paper sand dunes.)

I, however, will probably not enjoy the oasis very much because I will be running a leg of the Marathon for our corporate relay team. Yes, that's right folks. I'll be running the equivalent of a 10K. Please pray for me.

Rocky Mountain National Park

2006-09-30T14:16:00.000-06:00

Sometimes it's hard to believe that I live in such a beautiful state. Alyssa, Laura and I went hiking last weekend, and these are just a few of the amazing views. It's incredible that less than two hours from Denver, you can feel like you're standing in the middle of an Ansel Adams photograph. I now know what they mean when they say purple mountains majesty. Btw, here's your factoid of the day: that song, "America the Beautiful" was written by a woman viewing the mountains of Colorado.

Braves v. Rockies

2006-09-30T14:09:00.000-06:00

My co-worker Chris was so generous and gave me four tickets to the Rockies game last week. I was stoked because this was the only series I had wanted to see all year. I sported my Braves hat proudly to support my home team in the midst of Rockies fans, and in the midst of very cold rain. Too bad the Braves lost! I had been talking a lot of smack too. We stayed until the end though, and watched the fireworks show afterward. It was worth it. Pictured from Left to Right: Emily, Jenn, Me, and Colleen.

Atlanta and Athens

2006-09-30T13:42:00.000-06:00

It was surreal to be back in Athens for the first time in over a year, not to mention adjusting to humidity for the first time since last Christmas. I got to spend quality time with my best friends and call the Dawgs at home game--what more could you want?

US-2s in NYC

2006-09-30T12:12:00.000-06:00

So I've been the sultan of slack when it comes to posting lately. I was gone most of September, traveling to NYC and ATL. It was awesome to have a week and a half off--the longest vacation I've had since I started my program last year. Today, I'm trying to catch up by going over the highlights of my trip, starting with my first stop in New York City. The other seven US-2s and I gathered in the city to have our mid-term event, a time of reflection and discernment as one year of our placements ends and the final year begins.

I love these people so much, and it's inspiring to see how they have grown and what they've overcome this year. It was a time for us to reconnect, to learn from each other, and of course, whine a little bit too. We had a great time, though it wore us out (see second to last pic above). In addition, we were able to have a full day of vocational discernment, where I was able to further explore theological education and the ordination track. For now, I am filling out my applications to seminary, and I'm taking the steps towards candidacy as a deacon in the church. But...I have been warning everyone not to get too excited or put too much pressure on me to be ordained. I have to see if that's God's choice. And for now, I know I am not called to be in the pulpit. My ministry would still be in communications and/or social agencies and mission. And I'm still a little weirded out at the thought of having Rev. attached to my name. So, there's that.

Keep the others in my US-2 class in your prayers, as they discern where they will head next:
Bre, Beth, Mary, Sarah, Josh, Laura B., and Laura R.
And keep prayers for the US-2 class that was just commissioned as they begin their journey, and the US-2 class that just finished their terms, as they embark on their new experiences.

One Year

2006-09-05T11:55:00.000-06:00

So this Labor Day weekend marked my one-year anniversary in Colorado. Craaazy. Thanks for all the love and support from those at my always-home and those at my new home here. I can't wait to see what the next year brings!

Birthday Pics

2006-08-23T13:32:00.000-06:00

Ahmad and Ryan in the United States

2006-08-23T12:20:00.000-06:00

Here is the latest good news from Ryan...

Thanks so much for your prayers and support. I guess this chapter has come to a close as I am writing you from Ahmad's classroom in Carl Albert State College in Poteau, Oklahoma. He enrolled this week and seems happy and comfortable here. Nobody thought he would get the visa and, after the application interview in Istanbul, we both thought we'd be heading to Cyprus to make another visa appointment. But he got it and his visa expires in 2011!
I hope all is going well with all of you. Things have calmed down in Beirut and I still can't believe everything that has happened. I'm waiting to hear about my US placement site. I asked for as much advance notice as possible about the place and starting date. I'll need to prepare some things here and, since most of my stuff is either in Beirut or Belgium, I only have a toothbrush and some clothes.
Peace and blessings to all of you,
Ryan

Ryan Update

2006-08-21T12:05:00.000-06:00

Ryan is back in the United States! I've gotten loads of responses to his e-mail(posted below), so thanks for everyone's prayers and concern for him. More prayers are needed, both for Lebanon and Israel, as well as Ryan's friend Ahmad, who he is still trying to get to the U.S. God bless!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2006-08-17T11:59:00.000-06:00

This is a picture of my beautiful Cheesecake Factory cheesecake provided by my dear friend Michele. The pic doesn't do it justice. Later, I'll post pictures from this past weekend's b-day shindig and from going out with a few girls tonight. At 4:19 p.m., I'll officially be 23!

Smiling Faces, Beautiful Places (The South Carolina slogan if you will)*

2006-07-31T17:42:00.000-06:00

T.S. Eliot: “The end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.”

I’m working late-ish tonight, so I ran home for a quick break this afternoon. I made a smoothie and watched 30 minutes of an Oprah rerun, one where they discuss problems in our school system today.

South Carolina held a dubious “top” honor. Good ole S.C. has the worst high school drop-out rate in the nation, with just 54% of kids earning their diploma.

That is so telling when I think in terms of Warren Village. Here at the Village, we accept people into our program who are in the worst shape of their life. They have made mistakes. They’ve had addictions. They’ve had bad relationships. They’ve been abused. They are homeless. But, as a low-income transitional housing facility, even we don’t accept residents who lack a high school diploma or GED.

That criteria seems harsh, but we and organizations that seek to replicate our program have learned that it is one of the most deciding factors in a person’s success. We have little hope for helping a high school dropout make minimum wage, much less a living wage. Luckily, GED courses are always available and would-be residents have added incentive to achieve that high school education so they can move into our community.

Hearing the statistic about South Carolina’s education problems reminded me of Selena, a young woman I met at the Deaconess Conference in NYC. Selena is in her late twenties and resides in Mayesville, SC. At first, I think she wrote us off as having nothing in common, but we soon bonded over our shared residency and upbringing. Selena is brilliant, beautiful, articulate and a leader in her church. She is even more amazing when you learn that for two years, she and her parents were homeless and lived in their car. Selena overcame the obstacles of poverty and graduated from a South Carolina high school. Still, she never went to college, and neither did most of her peers, she said. She longs to go, and is now diligently looking for ways to fund her education.

Selena told me not to forget South Carolina. I made a note in my journal of what she told me. She said, “People like you always leave, and go make other places better. Don’t forget to make our home better.”

Perhaps at the end of all my exploring, I’ll find my way back to my home state.

*The South Dakota slogan is "Great Faces. Great Places." What a rip off.

Quote of the Day

2006-07-30T21:46:00.000-06:00

Solidarity not Charity...

"If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us struggle together." -Lila Watson, Aboriginal Australian activist

Ryan

2006-07-21T12:08:00.000-06:00

In the midst of enjoying my vacation with my mom, I was horrified to watch the nightly news of the violence in the Middle East. Two of my fellow young adult missionaries, Ryan and Ashley, have been stationed in the area as mission interns. Fortunately, Ashley was in Greece and not in Bethlehem, her placement site, when the bombings began. Sadly, Ryan was still in Beirut, Lebanon, where he has been serving at the World Student Christian Federation. Ryan has had a harrowing few days, literally running for his life. We praise God that he has safely made it into Turkey, but prayers are still needed for his safe return home. You can read an article about Ryan here. Please continue to pray for peace, for those still caught in the fray, and for Ryan's peace of mind following such a horrific journey. Below are excerpts from his e-mails that are so powerful and tragic:

Let me just say that this has been like a dream, well, a nightmare. I haven't slept much since Wednesday. I am, more or less, safe as I made it (barely) to Aleppo, Syria. When things calm down, I will write a longer email and share the whole story. But, basically, I made it up the coast as cities were being bombed behind me. I came here with a Muslim friend. If it weren't for him, I would still be in Lebanon, probably taking refuge in the mountain town of Bcharre…

…It took about three hours to get through the border and five hours to Aleppo. When we arrived, all the hotels were full and we spent almost three hours driving from place to place. Nobody would take us. Then, we got the only room available, a suite, for $150 a night….We turned on the news, CNN was reporting from the border station that we had crossed and there was a bombing on that road sometime after we had been there.I think all exits are closed now. US embassy still sending me emails saying they are trying to think of ways to get out American citizens, ha. Nobody can get through to them and they haven't helped us at all. Ahmad and I don't feel safe here and most Syrians severely dislike both Lebanese and Americans. I am also a target for kidnapping in this country. Everyone sticking it to us in terms of price and taking advantage of the war. Ahmad risked his life and saved mine. His family lives in a dangerous southern suburb. The apartment building in front of his has been destroyed. He is my brother now and I have to take care of him until he can go back to Lebanon. Steve wanted me to take first flight to USA but I said I can't move anywhere without Ahmad. What am I supposed to do "thanks for saving me, here's some money, good luck!" ? No way. We are going to the Turkish consulate in Aleppo tomorrow. We should be able to get him a visa there and then take a taxi, two hours,to Ankara and then another taxi, three hours, to Istanbul. I won't feel like I can breathe until we are in Turkey. Even then, the war is still with us until it stops. Ahmad's family is there, my heart is there.... I can't believe this is happening to Lebanon.

From 2nd e-mail:

i am still in aleppo. nervous, barely sleeping. ahmad and i are about to jump out of our skin. we want/need to get out of here as quick as possible. everyone is telling me to leave ahmad behind, drop him at a refugee camp or something and that i should make a run for the turkish border or take a flight out of aleppo. i can't leave him as he saved me and it would not be the right thing to do. we all took an oath when we got this job and i have to remain true to my principles and not desert a true brother at the first sign of danger….

…ahmad's family is staying in my apartment as their neighborhood has been destroyed. we can't get through. we watch the country falling apart on the news. we can't believe.sorry if this message is not as clear as my last one. i need to be sharp, prepared and i am upset at myself for not trying harder to sleep, rest, relax so that i can be at my best in every moment. i feel alert but not as fresh as i did before.please say prayers for us and for all the people involved in this conflict. again, if you know anyone who can help get ahmad a visa to the USA then PLEASE help me. he saved my life and i will stay here as long as necessary to make sure that he is safe even if it
means that i need to take some risks. my parents are willing to pay for all his expenses and vouch for him so that he wouldn't need to work. he can take classes
at the community college in my town and live with my parents until it is possible to safely return to lebanon.

Momma

2006-07-21T11:59:00.000-06:00

Mom got to come see me in Denver this past week! I hadn't seen her since Christmas, so it was a really nice visit. I was sad to take her to the airport on Wednesday, but we had a great time and got to explore Colorado together. Here are some pics from our trip to Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs.

Jokes

2006-07-12T14:02:00.000-06:00

So I guess I'm just a blogging fiend today. Maybe I've had too much caffeine. My last post reminded me of these lightbulb jokes, so I decided to post a few. I tried to pick on as many people as I could, just to be fair. Cue the laugh track please...

How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty-two: One to hold the ladder, One to climb the ladder, Ten to form a committee to evaluate the effectiveness of the old light bulb, and Ten to form a committee for a pot-luck to welcome in the new light bulb.
After all committee meetings were held, this statement was issued:
"We neither affirm nor reject the use of a lightbulb. If you have found a lightbulb helpful in your journey, that is good. If one would wish, they could submit an original poem or interpretive dance about their lightbulb, or light source, or non-dark resource, for the annual lightbulb celebration, where a variety of light bulb traditions will be explored, including long-life, incandescent, three-way, and tinted, all of which are valid paths to luminescence."

How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
What? Change the lightbulb? My grandmother donated that lightbulb.

How many Lutherans does it take?
We read that we are to so fear and love God that we cannot by our own effort or understanding comprehend the replacement of an electromagnetic photon source. It is, rather by faith, NOT by our efforts (effected toward the failed worldly incandescence), that we truly see, and that our own works cannot fully justify us in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Of course, it is still dark.

How many Charismatics?
The one with his hands in the air already can change the bulb, while nine others pray against the spirit of darkness.

How many Calvinists?
None. God has predestined when the light will be on.

How many Baptists?

CHANGE??????? Well, if we must, it will take at least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

How many Southern Baptists?
One to change the bulb, and 16 million to boycott the maker of the old bulb for bringing darkness into the Church.

How many Catholics?
"Nun." They always use candles.

How many Amish?
What's a light bulb?

How many TV evangelists?
Just one. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.

Thank you google, and goodnight.

Issues

2006-07-12T13:25:00.000-06:00

I got an e-mail this morning that summarized many of the happenings at UMC Annual Conferences this year. Here are two statements that I wanted to share:

"In his opening address, Bishop Robert Schnase called on the Missouri Conference to face the reality that during the past 40 years, the population of Missouri had increased 29 percent while membership in the United Methodist Church had dropped 32 percent. A task force was commissioned to evaluate every aspect of ministry in the annual conference in the coming year with an eye to aligning mission, ministry and money. The goal is to boost worship attendance in the conference by 5,000 within six years."

"Southwest Texas adopted a bishop's initiative on new church development, designed to reverse three straight years of membership losses in a region with major population growth. The plan includes authorization for a capital fund-raising campaign for starting new congregations and ministries and revitalizing existing congregations."

Now, these quotes seem all well and good on one hand. Increasing church membership is not a bad goal in some ways. Yet, both these statements speak to my issues with the United Methodist Church as a whole. Do task forces and capital campaigns really carry out the church's mission? You know, numbers don't mean success in faith-based standards. Do we need to overanalyze everything with boards and bureaus, committees and studies to the point that we forget why we want to increase church membership in the first place?

I don't know, but here's an idea. Why don't we talk about God? Or Jesus? Or we could get downright radical and mention the Holy Spirit. And maybe, if we get some free time in between all those committee meetings, we could pray. I just wish we would focus on the unexplainable and transformative power of a relationship with our Creator more than we talked about the Church as if it were a business. The United Methodist Church is struggling in many parts of the U.S., but I really don't think acting just like non-profits and businesses is going to change that. I don't want to be extreme, but part of me feels like task forces and capital campaigns without prayer are just a bad imitations of what the world around us is doing.

I grew up in a United Methodist Church that I believe gets it right most of the time. Hey, our little church isn't perfect, but most of the members seem to act out Jesus's mission in a humble and powerful way. Since I've been serving as a UMC missionary, having more interaction with struggling conferences, dealing more with the church's General Board agencies, I see less and less reminders of why I love Methodism. The UMC does a great deal of social justice ministry with no strings attached, which I love. But if we begin severing ties with the One who calls us to those ministries, we will be no different than any other secular social service agency. Without centering ourselves on God, we will have nothing to offer anyone that the world doesn't already give.

It's a Plane! It's a Bird! It's Warren Village?!?

2006-07-12T13:18:00.000-06:00

My cousin Bill put the Warren Village logo on his cool racecar, a.k.a. the Purple People Eater. I was looking through my pictures and realized I hadn't shared this on my blog yet, so here you go! I really have the coolest, most supportive family. Look out for O'Cain Motorsports at a track near you!

The Big Apple

2006-07-10T14:56:00.000-06:00

Ahh, the other Village I love...

I went to New York City at the end of June for the United Methodist Deaconess Living Justice Event. Wow, that's a mouthful. Our topic for the week was Refugee and Immigration justice, so I came back with lots more facts and insights on the issue, which I'm sure I'll be posting along the way. As for Warren Village, we have lots of mission teams and youth groups this summer. It reminds me of my youth group days at Salkehatchie, which paved the way to becoming a US-2. The teens are keeping me busy with projects, and they're fantastic at fixing up the Village!

And while I'm definitely enjoying living in the present and in Denver, God has been putting some thoughts in my head about what's next. Come September, I'll have a year left at my placement, so please pray about where God will lead me then. I'm definitely still in the discernment process, but I have been seriously checking out seminaries and divinity schools...which is very scary. I still feel like writing and journalism are my callings, but God frequently tells me to do things that don't really make sense to me--so please pray!

Westword Music Showcase

2006-06-22T15:22:00.000-06:00

Colleen and I went to the Westword Music Showcase this past weekend. The Showcase is like being an extra on the set of Almost Famous, where everyone's doing their best 70's rock-era impression with Urban Outfitters rip-offs. The best part, though, wasn't the CCR lookalikes. It was seeing our friend Chris playing with his band Laylights. Funny thing is, Chris grew up right across from us on Lake Murray and went to Irmo High School. So here we are, the three Carolinians. And who would have thought that a band geek from S.C. would grow up to be such a rock star?

So, anyway, for Denver locals, check out Laylights. And for everyone else, I've been listening to Corinne Bailey Rae's debut CD and Gnarls Barkley. Both are fabulous!

National Hunger Awareness Day

2006-06-06T15:35:00.000-06:00

So I know it's 6/6/06, and we're all supposedly waiting for the world to come to an end. But, since it's already 3:48 p.m., I'm thinking we'll see another day. And since the world will be around tomorrow, the world's problems will as well.

On top of being some apocolyptic, Satan's spawn date, it is also National Hunger Awareness Day. In honor and in memory of those who suffer and who have suffered from this preventable tragedy, I looked up some articles from Relevant magazine and Bread for the World's website.

Hunger is not a mysterious illness that cannot be solved. With today's technology, people no longer go hungry because the earth does not produce enough food. It's a matter of distribution. As Gandhi said, "There's enough for everyone's NEED, but not for everyone's GREED." David Beckman from Bread for the World writes, "The United Nations Development Program estimates that the basic health and nutritional needs of the world’s poorest people could be met for an additional $13 billion a year. Animal lovers in the United States and Europe spend more than that on pet food each year."

Of course, God loves our pets too, but I think that fact gives some indication of priorities. Heather Zydek, writing for Relevant, included a link to a heartbreaking picture of a child dying from hunger. I warn you, it's very graphic and it made me cry. But then again, Mother Theresa once said, “May God break my heart so completely that the whole world falls in.” If you would like, you can view the Pulitzer-prize winning photograph here.

Hunger is not just a third-world problem either. You can find it in cities in Europe and classrooms in America. We see it here at Warren Village.

If you would like to find more information or ways you can help, check out these websites:

www.bread.org
www.one.org
www.hungerday.org

Speechless

2006-05-26T16:34:00.000-06:00

I've been putting off writing this post because I didn't know what to say. And I really should start posting some more uplifting things, but sometimes life is messy. I offer up words of thanksgiving for the life of Mark Masters, the missionary who trained me to be a missionary, the father of two sons my age, and the husband to his minister and missionary wife. Mark left this earth on Mother's Day, and words seem so inadequate at such a time as this. The words I offer up are prayers for his family, his friends and all the lives he touched. See you in heaven, Mark!

"I tell you the truth, whoever believes has everlasting life." John 6:47

Here's the GBGM article on Mark: http://gbgm-umc.org/global_news/pr.cfm?articleid=4040&CFID=8788488&CFTOKEN=88750213

“You do not have to sit outside in the dark. If, however, you want to look at the stars, you will find that darkness is required.” Annie Dillard

Cold, Hard Reality

2006-05-21T23:34:00.000-06:00

There comes a time in every young college graduate when they must face the cold, hard truth.

There is no more summer vacation.

The sun is shining, the weather is warm, people are graduating and yet, your job stays the same. Once upon a time you would be celebrating the end of exams, basking in the relief of summer. Alas, that is over. Now it's just more 9 to 5, 24/7, 365 days for the rest of your working life. And if the 401K and social security hold out, you might get some retirement. And then you die.

Can you tell I need a vacation?

Note: The views expressed in this post are clearly the result of slight missionary burn-out, and things will all look better with some God time and a good night's sleep.

In Memory of My Dad

2006-05-09T14:14:00.000-06:00

So, today is May 9, the dreaded two-year anniversary of my stepdad's death. I've taken the day off work so I don't have to pretend that I'm ok, just in case I'm not ok. Anniversaries are hard for us, as I guess they are for anyone who has lost a loved one. I read Joan Didion's book The Year of Magical Thinking a few months ago. It's a memoir of her life after her husband died. In it, she writes, "All year I have been keeping time by last year's calendar." I know what that feels like. But we're in our second year, and so far the days and months get easier--less tears, less breakdowns, more happiness. Grief is hard work.

So to commemorate Sonny's life and death, here's something I wrote for a timed-writing exercise in one of my journalism classes, about six months after Sonny passed. We had 15 minutes to write about someone we knew. And even though I felt like I lost him too soon, like I had so much more to know and learn about him, here's what I've got. It's called "The Big Catch."

The slimy underbelly of the catfish was slick to the touch. I held the mouth in my hand, careful not to snag my finger on the razor fins. I was nine, much too small to hold the fat, 20-lb. monster by myself.

When I caught it off my uncle's dock, my stepfather Sonny had to hold onto to me so I wouldn't fall in the water. But we wanted a picture. Sonny used fishing line to hang the fish from my red and yellow swing set that he had put together for my seventh birthday. I stood with my hand on the fish, the camera unaware of the invisible thread that suspended the creature from the air. He snapped the picture. I smiled at him.

I didn't smile much at him back then. I didn't like him at the time. I didn't want a new dad. Twelve years later, after he died, we found a newspaper clipping of him, taken when he was six years old. The local paper featured Sonny because he had caught the largest rockfish ever recorded to come out of the Saluda River. He held a striped bass that was almost as tall as he was. At the very top of the picture, I saw a hand--his father's, I was told. The hand inconspicuously held onto the mouth of the fish, so that Sonny could get all the glory. The eyes of that six-year-old looked as stoic as they would the rest of his life. He was a quiet man, tall and lank. He was a dark-skinned Indian that stood in stark contrast to my ivory-freckled combination. Someone once asked me if I was adopted.

The avid hunter and sportsman was strong like the rock that he mined from Martin Marietta Rock Quarry. But the dust and the cigarettes took their toll on his lungs. The cancer came.

He spent months in the hospital. Nothing could be done. But he told me, "When someone dies, we should not try to call him back, but we should be glad they go on to prepare a place where we'll all one day meet."

On All-Saint's Day of 2004, we unveiled his gravestone. It was strong granite, mined from the quarry where he did his life's work. The front and back were polished, but we left the sides with a rough-hewn, natural look. Just the way he would have liked it.

Marc and Indy

2006-05-03T21:55:00.000-06:00

Aww...a boy and his dog. So this is Marc, my personal Dr. McDreamy. Did I mention I love embarassing him on the Internet?

A Day Without Immigrants March in Denver

2006-05-02T18:07:00.000-06:00

Strangers in a Foreign Land, a.k.a. my thoughts on immigration

2006-04-11T15:39:00.000-06:00

I’ve long held the belief that God does not care all that much about the imaginary lines we draw around our countries. I don’t think that God see borders or colors the same way we do. In fact, if God thinks anything of “aliens” or immigrants, he protects them, along with the poor and the widows. These populations, the ones deemed “the least of these,” are the ones he defended the most. (Matthew 34)

In this country, unless you are a full-blooded American Indian, then you are a direct descendant from an immigrant. I find it ironic, that in a country that is comprised almost entirely of immigrants’ descendants, we now find ourselves in a position to be exclusive. It is an eery parallel to what God told the Israelites: “The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. (Leviticus 19:34)

Here are some insights, taken from a homily by Bishop Bennett D.D. Burke, the bishop of the Diocese of Arizona:

They came to "a new world, one for which most were unprepared." It was "a mass migration on an epic scale." With "the modest goal of staying alive," they "came to America with few material possessions and even fewer marketable skills," and "flocked to the most difficult, worst-paid jobs they could find," usually as "laborers or domestics."

"A rural people," they were "Catholic, unskilled and poorly educated." Many were illiterate, and spoke little or no English. Some native-born Americans considered them "dangerous aliens," "remote from us in temperament and constitution," and "considered their poverty a sign of God’s censure." Critics claimed the "government’s assistance had made the…people worse instead of better," and condemned the immigrants as "lazy and careless, dim-witted, given to idleness and drink, under entirely different sanitary influences than the American population." "Decidedly unambitious and lazy," they would "rather take handouts than work." Anti-immigrant legislation often ensued, claiming that the immigrants, "unable to participate in the normal affairs of the community" would "erect a society within a society, to act together in their own way."

Sound familiar? Well, it might, but you may be thinking of the wrong immigrants. All these things were said about the Irish in the latter half of the nineteenth century.

I am a descendant of Irish immigrants. As Bishop Burke reminds us, the Irish were once thought to be barbaric and ignorant. Now, we get to read books like How the Irish Saved Civilization. We learn about former Irish-American presidents such as J.F.K. and Ronald Reagan. And on March 17th, we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day.

In a land that extols liberty, justice and freedom for all, it is ironic that we still struggle to extend these rights to everyone. Each ethnic group that has immigrated here, especially in mass numbers, has found it hard to assimilate, has taken on the bottom rung of employment, and has been thought to be inferior somehow. Yet, look at the richness of the United States of America that is a direct result from our patchwork of cultures.

In a country that is just a little over two centuries old, a blip on the historical timeline, I find it sad that we already think we know exactly who an American is and isn’t. Is our national identity really so defined that we have no room for anyone else?

Sure, immigration reform is needed. Hardworking taxpayers deserve certain benefits. But I think reform includes rights for everyone. I don’t think people should die trying to cross our borders. I don’t think we should claim they are stealing our jobs when, in reality, they are doing jobs Americans won’t do. I don’t think we should complain about all this money they supposedly take from us when we pay them under the table and at far less than minimum wage.

In the middle of August in South Carolina, you pass plenty of farms with migrant workers. I wonder how many employers would enjoy immigration reform, if it meant that illegal immigrants would be banned, and those left would enjoy the benefits of minimum wage.

In heaven, when we stand before God, I don’t think he will care nearly as much about our status as a good taxpayer (Matt 22) as he will about our status as a Good Samaritan.

Con la libertad y la justicia para todos…

Verses to check out:
Ezekiel 22:29
Exodus 23:9
Deuteronomy 24:17
Deuteronomy 27:19
Psalm 146:9

Ben Harper

2006-04-05T14:37:00.000-06:00

I have somewhat of a thing for Ben Harper. I may even be a tad obsessed. I've been trying my best to get tickets to one of his Colorado shows for weeks. Alas, the shows sold out an hour after tix went on sale, and missionaries cannot afford E-bay prices. So, I had resigned myself to trying to go to a summer show until a certain someone completely surprised me with tickets to his March 31st concert at the Fox Theater in Boulder. It was one of the nicest things anyone's ever done, especially since that certain someone has never even listened to Ben Harper. And the show was AMAZING! He played all my favorite songs and did four encores. He's such a talented musician who combines so many styles. Oh, and did I mention that he's beautiful? Haha.

Flower Power

2006-03-28T16:14:00.000-07:00

So after determining that most of my recent posts have been somewhat depressing, I decided to give some floral cheer. My mom and Aunt Pat sent me these flowers a couple weeks ago--they're still thriving if you can believe it--and I thought I'd share them with everyone. Now, these flowers are proof of what amazing ladies I'm related to. My mom was celebrating her birthday and my Aunt Pat was recovering from surgery. I should have been sending them flowers! But I have definitely enjoyed them. I love you guys!

In Loving Memory

2006-03-21T14:51:00.000-07:00

Kathryn Lindsley

4/27/1983 ~ 3/18/2006

The world mourns the loss of a great soul, but heaven rejoices to receive her. My friend and sorority sister Katie was killed in a car accident on Saturday. A truck carrying a trailer of wood lost control and struck the car she was driving. She died upon impact.

Katie was a beautiful person. She was a devout follower of Christ, and her love extended to all she met. She was always sincere, always kind, and extremely special. She was an artist and a recent Georgia grad, with her future before her. Though the world had her for such a short time, she touched so many lives. Katie--you will be greatly missed!

Please offer up prayers for her friends and family while they recover from the loss.

Answered Prayer for Today

2006-03-17T18:32:00.000-07:00

So literally, ten minutes ago, I was staring blankly at my online bank balance, trying to figure out how to eat the next two weeks. Due to some out-of-the-ordinary expenses, my missionary funds are more pitiful than usual this month. Then, as I was about to walk out the door, I checked my mailbox. A wonderful lady from a church I spoke at on Wednesday sent me a thank you note and a check for $25! Now, little did she know how much that money was needed! But God did and I am extremely grateful. Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!!!

Almost Famous

2006-03-15T13:46:00.000-07:00

Hey Everybody! Check out my article that got posted on the United Methodist General Board of Global Ministries (wow, that's a mouthful) website:

http://gbgm-umc.org/global_news/full_article.cfm?articleid=3919

I hope the link works. The article was actually a reflection that we US-2 missionaries wrote after the first few months at our placement sites.

Absolutely Clear

2006-03-10T17:08:00.000-07:00

Don't surrender your loneliness
So quickly, let it cut more deep
Let it ferment and season you
As few human or even divine ingredients can.

Something missing in my heart tonight,
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice so tender
My need of God absolutely clear.

Don't surrender your loneliness so quickly.

-Shams-ud-din Muhammad Hafiz

In the Garden

2006-03-07T13:22:00.000-07:00

I've had a lot of time to think the past couple weeks. Sometimes thinking is bad. Sometimes I think too much. Thinking too much still leaves me wondering, "What was I thinking?"

But I think (haha!) with this Lenten season, introspection is necessary. Instead of giving up something, I've been trying to do more of what I'm always supposed to do more...pray, love, spend time with God.

Since high school, February has notoriously become my "cursed" month. I don't know if this is a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I feel like tragedy always strikes me or my family in February. This February has not been a breeze, so I was glad when March came roaring in like a lion.

I find pouring myself into service is the only way to stop thinking about myself so much. Luckily, that’s sort of my job description. On Sunday, I had the opportunity (ok, I should rephrase, because when I had to wake up at 5 a.m., “opportunity” was not the word that came to mind). Ok, so on Sunday, I had to drive an hour and a half to Fort Morgan, CO, to attend a mission fair. I do a lot of this—driving around the state, speaking on behalf of Warren Village and our mission.

But Fort Morgan was different. Or familiar. It felt very much like home. Like my little Red Bank United Methodist Church in South Carolina. Well, Fort Morgan smelled very much like cow, and Red Bank doesn’t. But, besides that, it was like home. Fort Morgan is a small town and there’s not much around it. The people were so friendly. They even fed me a fellowship meal before I left.

I met an older fellow that made me think of what my stepdad Sonny would have been like at age 75, if we hadn’t lost him to cancer in 2004. His wife reminded me of my mom plus 20 years. I’ve never thought I was good with the elderly, but lately, my heartstrings get yanked with every old person I meet. I know part of it is that Sonny will never get to reach his seventies. He never even made it to 60. And even though my dad got a new lease on life after his severe health scares this summer, and even though we gratefully celebrated his 57th birthday two weeks ago, it also makes a person wonder how long we will get to keep him on this earth.

During worship on Sunday, we sang the hymn “In the Garden,” which was one of Sonny’s favorites. I’ve read that the hymn’s writer was referring to Mary Magdalene’s discovery of the resurrected Jesus when they were “in the garden.” But I’ve always related the hymn to Sonny, and what he told us about dealing with his terminal illness. We ran out of prayers it seemed, but he said he prayed as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane, the night before he was to be taken prisoner and eventually crucified. Jesus prayed to let that cup pass from him, but if it was God’s will, then God’s will be done. And even though God did not let the cup pass from him either, Sonny did the same.

He speaks and the sound of His voice
Is so sweet the birds hush their singing
And the melody that He gave to me
Within my heart is ringing...

I'd stay in the garden with Him
'Tho the night around me be falling
But He bids me go; through the voice of woe
His voice to me is calling.

And He walks with me
And He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there
None other has ever known.

-from "In the Garden" by Charles Austin Miles, 1913

Current Weather Forecast Part Deux

2006-02-28T17:52:00.000-07:00

75 Degrees

and beautiful...

I really don't understand Colorado's weather.

It will probably snow next week, so I'm going to enjoy this while I can.

In other news, I hope everyone enjoys Fat Tuesday, a.k.a. Mardi Gras.

Laissez les bons temps roulez!

(Or for non-francophiles, let the good times roll!)

11:55 a.m. on Colfax Avenue

2006-02-22T16:43:00.000-07:00

Today, as I was walking to a meeting at a neighboring non-profit, a man in a white van pulled up beside me, rolled open his door, and proceeded to ask repeatedly if I needed a ride.

This leaves me to wonder one of three things:
Do I look like a prostitute?
Do I look stupid?
Or is he just crazy?

This guy doesn't quite beat the homeless man that jumped out from behind my dumpster one night, screaming that he had AIDS and was schizophrenic. Not a good sales pitch, to say the least. (Oh, yea, Mom, you're not supposed to read this.) The homeless man was actually quite harmless--at least I thought so once I ran behind my security gate. I gave him a banana I had upstairs. My cop friend of a friend says I should not give crazy men bananas. He says I should learn to use more safety precautions, and not be a crazy banana giver.

Anyway, the man in the white van went away, shortly after I pretended to be deaf. It was, after all, in broad daylight on a busy street. So I got to my meeting safe and sound.

The meeting was about food stamp qualifications for our clients. As a missionary, I have the odd experience of sitting in meetings learning about public assistance knowing that my income technically qualifies me for public assistance.

So, Mom, you don't have to worry about my ability to eat. If I ever need them, I officially qualify for food stamps.

Current Weather Forecast

2006-02-17T14:04:00.000-07:00

4 degrees

with windchill, feels like -13 degrees

Oh, and it's snowing. I don't think I will ever unthaw. I guess I'm finally getting a taste of real winter weather. Of course, the 10-day forecast show that it will be back in the 40s and 50s next week. Go figure. That's Denver for you.

Still, I can't complain too much, considering my fellow US-2 in Nome, Alaska has high temperatures of -30 degrees!

Scuba Tiff

2006-02-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

So, last night, after 4 nights and 16 hours of swimming around a pool with an air tank, I completed the classroom/pool portion of my scuba diver training. Now, I just have to do a couple dives in an actual body of water, and I will officially be a certified Open Water Diver. I wouldn't have thought that anyone in Colorado would scuba dive, but apparently we're third in the nation in our number of certified divers, behind only Florida and California. Pretty impressive for a landlocked state. I guess it's another testament to Colorado's outdoorsiness. I have to admit I was a little apprehensive at first, but it's a really cool experience to breathe underwater. And I have to thank Marc for the amazing gift of being able to learn. Now, I'll be fine, so long as everyone refrains from showing me clips from Jaws or Open Water.